The Dads Center

July 3, Back to who I am--A gardener

I'm set on doing some things this weekend that will be fun for the family, but also some things I identified in late May that are important to me and things that make me feel happy on the inside.  Often times we adults get so busy taking care of other people, we forget the life-like airlines advice about air masks; putting yours on first. 

My four-year-old daughter Ashleigh and I went to Home Depot the other night and spent the best $27 we've spent in a long time.  What did we buy?  Flower seeds.  Perennials. And lots of them.  We also bought some herbs that we're going to plant close to the entrances of the house and near the sitting areas of "Kari's Paradise," out back. 

Living in what's "Zone 7" of the weather conditions chart, and keeping in mind that much of our backyard paradise is almost in 100 percent sun, Ashleigh and I had to be mindful of what we were picking out.  All of the plant seeds we bought are for high sun areas.  Check.

We also tried to pay attention, (at least I did) of how high this stuff will grow.  Kari and I made the mistake of planting a Canna last year and it grows about five to six feet tall.  It was coming up in front of our decorative well out back and as you can imagine, obstructing its view.  We now have it in a barrel planter and I'm thinking we're even going to have to move it from the location where we have it now. 

I got up and did my EA SPORTS Active workout this morning.  Then I walked Molly.  And then did 30 minutes of laps in the pool.  So I'm going to treat the rest of the morning as a mental break from the arid conditions outside and really make myself a plan on what to do the rest of the weekend.

For one, I know we're going to a friend's lake party tomorrow with all seven of the kids. 

Second of all, I want to figure out where I'm going to plant these seeds.

What do I have to work with? 

True Lavender: Lavendula angustifolia, a herb.  It grows from 24-30 inches and has a "Classic fragrance."  It grows well in regions 6-9.  The package says to start it indoors in the spring.  It being the first of July, I'm going to have to try to start it straight out in the garden. 

As you can see, it's a wonderful warm shade of green and touching, gentle shade of purple.  We already have a Texas Lavendar growing outside and its quite a large bush.  But the way I figure it, you can never have enough Lavender growing around you.

The next thing I'm going to plant is Butterfly Weed, Asclepias tuberosa, again, a plant that does well in lots of sun, is 12-36 inches high, and best of all, attracts butterflies. Butterfly Weed has bright orange flower heads that are known for attracting buterflies.  The plants are drought-tolerant that produce a wealth of flowers.  They are good for borders and for cutting and bringing inside, too.  But hey, if they're going to summon butterflies, why would you cut them?

I'm excited to see how Abrieta, Whitewell Gem, is going to do .  It's a wonderful shade of purple, grows about six inchecs high, and is described as a "rock garden charmer."  It is supposed to make myriads of 1 inch purple flowers in spring on ground hugging, spreading plants.  They're said to be ideal for rock gardens, banks and front of broders.  With it being mid-summer, I'm not sure how these are going to do, but I'm going to try.  I realized now that Ashleigh and I only bought one pack of these, so I don't know what to expect, to be honest. 

The next plant, another bluish/purple mix, is the Columbine, Blue Star.   They's said to grow about 24 inches, have graceful blooms and are good in high sun, but don't mind a little shade, either. They look like they're pretty, with large medium blue outside pedals and constrasting white centers with darker blue accents.  They're said to be lovely for borders and cutting.  

There are more to plant, but I've got to get Ashleigh ready for Mother's Day Out now.  She's being a four-year-old, if you know what I mean.

 

Who Pooped In The Park?

Kari and I have been going to Yosemite with our kids annually now since 2006.  One of the books we've joked about getting but never did until this June when we were there again is Gary D. Robson's "Who Pooped In The Park," that was illustrated by Elijah Brady Clark for Yosemite visitors.  Apparently there are other versions for the other parks, too.

But Ashleigh, our four-year-old daughter, is at that stage in her life where pooping and peeing are funny and curious, whether it's coming from her or in the case of being in Yosemite, the deer, bears, squirrels, and on.

So, as I was in the general store in Fish Camp, I bought the book.  Oh, boy.  As we drove along the winding road into the park from the South Gate to Yosemite Valley, Kari read the book to a highly amused Ashleigh.  The other kids would chime in.  At one point, Kari said she'd never said the word, "Poop!" as much in one day. 

And as she read page 32 about Bat Guano, all I could think about was Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove when Col. "Bat" Guano (played by Keenan Wynn)had found him in Gen. Jack Ripper's office and he said sarcastically, "Col. Bat Guano, if that really is your name..."  (okay, sidebar. I digress.)

But this was a fun little book, heck, even Kari's dad was curious enough to want to see the pictures after she'd finished reading it to Ashleigh. 

We tried to do some new things in Yosemite this year.  One of them I focused on was taking more photos of the critters living in the park.  I've got some great pictures, too. 

So moms and dads heading to Yosemite , or one of several other national parks, order you a copy of this book for the kids if they're still young enough to think such is funny.  And for the record, our older boys thought it was funny, too.  So, it seems no age is too old.

Did you know that deek scat is shaped more like jellybeans?  It says so on page 15.  Did you know that you'l seldom find the scat of a mountain lion because they bury it?  Page 47.   What's on the pages in between you'll just have to get the book and find out for yourself!

Goals for July

Like I said earlier, New Month, New Beginnings.  That also brings a new look to The Dads Center, and rebirth of its purpose.  I began this site in 2004, with the intention of using it as a guide for other dads, but also to help share my story of being a dad of then, three girls.  After dating Kari for 10 months beginning in mid-2005, we married in mid-2006, expanding my brood from three to seven.  

Raising a blended family is something one has to work at every day.  There are no days off.  And as time has passed I've come to some careful conclusions, the first being that I must take better care of me physically in order to be a better dad.  Have I made mistakes in my parenting?  Of course.  No one doesn't.  But in April in Santa Barbara, I made a commitment to take better care of my body and to get into shape.  I'm still on that journey and shall be until the day I die.  

Is getting physically fit going to make me a happy person?  Of course not, that one thing alone cannot be the basis for ones happiness in life.  That's foolish to even think. 

But already I've seen a huge difference in the way I approach parenting, just from having lost 30 lbs. 

For starters, I'm still quite tired at the end of the day when I get home from work, but I'm not exhausted.  I have an easier time going up and down the stairs in our home.  I'm getting outside and playing with the kids in the pool more often.  They'd of course like to jump around, throw balls, dive, catch, play with noodles, float on floats, knock each other off of them, argue over who is going to wear goggles and etc, while I'd prefer to swim laps, but that's just the difference in our interests. 

Our daughter Ashleigh is almost swimming on her own now.  We've got her using a swimsuit that has the floatation device built into the suit, but we're also letting her practice without it now and again.  That's so exciting to see her grow in such a fashion.  

So what are my goals for July?  Simple.  Simplification.

This month I want to burn at least 4,000 calories on EA SPORTS Active.  That means I need to do 20 days of workouts where I burn at least 250 calories during a workout session.  I'll go beyond that with my walks with Molly, and then my 30-minute lap swims. 

Tonight I'm heading to Wal-Mart.  I'm getting a new wooden pole flag for our fencing in the backyard to proudly fly the US Flag from the back of our home, as well at the front.  But I'm also going to get a new pair of Speedo goggles.  And I'm going to get a new wall clock to hang outside so that when my head turns at the end of a lap, I can also glance up to check how long I've been swimming and how long it's  taking for each lap.  

I'm reading more lately.  I'm into the new Bourne Deception book, and I've tried the Kindle app for my iPhone and am reading Mark Levin's Liberty and Tyranny book.  

(Did you know you can buy it on Amazon for the iPhone Kindle app for $9.99 as opposed to the $25 Barnes and Noble wants for it in their store or even the $13.95 Amazon wants for a hardcopy?!)

I'm listening more to talk radio lately, too.  Listening to the messages that I'm hearing about the state of affairs of our nation and the world has added to my frustration lately.  President Obama really is a Statist and is set to decrease our rights as U.S. citizens and if you think that's poppycock, take a closer look at what he's doing.  

(Statist: A political viewpoint "that sovereignty is vested not in the people but in the national state, and that all individuals and associations exist only to enhance the power, the prestige, and the well-being of the state. The fascist concept of statism repudiates individualism and exalts the nation as an organic body headed by the Supreme Leader and nurtured by unity, force, and discipline."^[3])

Since he's been president, he's taken over the banking industry, the automobile industry, is going to put a huge dent in our wallets over this Cap and Trade crap, and will ruin the healthcare industry when he takes that over, too.  He passively watched the government of Iran kill dozens of its citizens protesting a skewed election in their nation, and now wants to restore a dictator overthrown in Honduras and supported by Hugo Chavez.  (Hello, he's on the same page as Hugo Chavez.  Isn't that enough to tell one they're on the wrong side of the aisle?!) None of those things are good for America. 

And then there is the matter of the stimulus package that to date, doesn't appear to be working.  If you do a check of the nation's public school districts, many of them are trying to figure out what they're going to do with his stimulus money, (if they even get it because of their governors making a power play for it.) 

It all just makes me sick.  We're going to look back on the first months of 2009 and see where America really excellerated it's turn for the worst.  

But I'm going to keep my focus as best as I may.  My priorities are going to remain building on my awesome marriage to Kari, pumping up my relationships with my seven kids, focusing even more intently on the math and science programs I support for the benefit of children across the country, and then also taking care of me. 

I'm going to exercise at least 20 of the 31 days of July.  I'm going to lose more weight.  I'm going to eat better.  And I'm going to do a better job of encouraging others and informing others about what's happening in our world.    

New Month, New Beginnings

Like I posted yesterday, good riddance to June 2009.  For many reasons I'm not at liberty to discuss, June 2009 was one of the worst months of my life.  But this is July.  And I'm starting over. The reset button is being pushed and it's time to get things back on track, in order, and moving forward. 

After exercising daily in April and May using EA SPORTS Active, I had a rough go of it in June.  With the trip with the kids to Yosemite, coming back to some curious situations, the demands of work, the challenges of life, well, I swam a lot.  I really focused on doing my laps almost each and every day.  But EA SPORTS Active kind of got away from me.  

The good thing is, well, sort of, that I am still down the 30 pounds I initially lost using EA SPORTS Active and having changed our diet at home.  Additionally, we're still eating healthy at home, though I will confess with the June stress, I did waiver.  There were times during the month when the stress was so overwhelming that I broke down and ate foods that traditionally had "made me feel better," but after I ate them, I felt just sick.  As a matter of fact, Kari and I had dinner the other night at Gazebo Burger in Dallas and after I wolfed down my burger and onion rings, much of it came right back up because my stomach was asking, "What the hell are you doing?"  

But today is a new day.  Today is the first day of a new month and I'm reinvigorated.  

This morning I was up at 5 a.m.  I went downstairs to the living room and started up EA SPORTS Active.  I hit "Start Over," on my June 30-day workout.  Again, with the new day, new month, new exercise routine mantra.  I did my workout.  Only burned 170 calories, but it was a first day workout.

As Molly, my Great Pyr, has come to do, she sat in the floor watching me do my workout.  Once the backwards sounding EA SPORTS Active music began to play, Molly was up standing near the door ready to go for our post EA SPORTS Active workout walk.  Off we went for about 15 minutes.  

When we returned, I immediately changed into my swimming suit, added ear plugs and headed out back for 20 minutes of the breaststroke, side stroke, elementary back and a little Australian crawl.  

To come to work, I got dressed in an old golf shirt I've had since about 2004.  Being down 30 lbs and probably about back to the weight I was when I first wore the shirt, I couldn't help but feel skinnier.  Three months ago, I would have tried it on, seen it didn't fit in a very flattering manner, and put it back on the hanger.  I also put on a comfy pair of pants that had gotten a little too tight to wear regularly before April and strutted out the door to work.  

I'm hitting my creative phase.  I can feel things bubbling up to the top.  I'm going to have a better month in July than I did in June.  Reset button is now engaged.

Farewell June 2009

Farewell June 2009. You sucked.

My Saturday Morning Tour of San Fran

I've been to San Francisco many times in my life.  Remember, we used to live in Atwater, CA, when Dad was stationed at the now-closed Castle AFB.   Because I had asthma and the winters in the San Juaquin Valley were horrible for my allergies, we often had to drive up here to the Naval Base to see their allergist. 

And then two years ago when we brought all seven kids to Yosemite for a week, we made a last evening trip down to Pier 39, aka, Fisherman's Warf, the tourist trap of all tourist traps, but a fun place nonetheless.

When we were here with the kids, I'd wanted to ride one of the famous trolleys, but we didn't get the chance.  Well, thanks to the fact that my body still is on Central Time and not Pacific, I was up early and out walking. 

At the corner of Market and Powell, I found a trolley car waiting to make another 20-minute run down to the warf.  There were about four or five others on with me, so I had plenty of room to turn around and shoot photos, etc.

I love the photo to the left of another trolley just coming over on of the hills.  The lights of the clear blue sky shining down on the track just pull your eyes off into the infinity of the wild blue yonder.

As one of enjoys art, it was nice to look along the streets and see the varying kinds of ornate architecture and then to make a study of some of the people who also had ventured out in the morning with me.   There are few things as great at that first morning light to shoot with. 

 

Council of Great City Schools PR Executives Meeting

I'm in San Francisco International about to board my flight back home to Dallas.  I came in Friday afternoon and spent time Friday night and Saturday with a group of my former peers, the men and women who serve daily as the communications directors and representatives of the largest public school districts in America.

This was the ninth annual Council of Great City Schools PR Executives meeting and as far as professionals go, these are among the best in the nation.  These are the people who work tirelessly (and exhausted) to help provide the public with current, honest and sometimes not the most pleasant news.  Most in this line of work think of others before they think of what's best for themselves. 

They are at the beck and call of their local news media, and even sometimes national and international news media.  They constantly hear from parents, administrators, teachers, and the press.  They visit your children's schools, and often know short cuts through your city to get there the fastest if an emergency happens.  But they also have a lighter side.  They all still have the ability to laugh, to cry, and always give a comforting smile in a heated situation. 

Whenever I did an interview for TV in Dallas during my stint from 2001-2006, I always tried to put myself in the shoes of a parent, watching TV at home.  What would they like to know about what happened.  I knew if I was watching, I wouldn't want a stodgy answer that confused anyone.  I was direct.  I was honest and open.

My colleagues  a great bunch of people and I enjoyed getting to visit with them this weekend, to host their event on behalf of my favorite client, and to catch up with their life in the trenches. 

We got to talk about some very exciting things they're doing with social media as a way to enhance their communications with all of their audiences.  That's fantastic news to hear.  Now if their IT departments will only listen and understand that Facebook, Twitter and even YouTube can be helpful communications tools for parents, educators, the press and administrators.

Thanks guys for a great meeting.  It was a pleasure to see Mary Louise from Indy Schools.  Mary Louise has been to every one of the nine meetings and has me by seven!   Thanks so much, too, to Henry and Tonya from CGCS for coordinating such a great conference.  I'm sure everyone learned a lot from the topics of discussion and later today will have a great excitement about getting back home to begin putting into place some of the many ideas they've picked up this weekend.   

Tonight's Heavenly Concerto

Ah what joy it must be up in Heaven tonight with the addition of Michael Jackson to the choir of those who have preceded him in death.  

First imagine Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly playing a little Rockabilly.  Then add Elvis and his dancing.  John Lennon singing a new version of #9 Dream, with George Harrison playing a slide guitar, and Elvis and Michael squaring off to see who has the best moves.  Now he really can do a Moon Walk.   

I'm guessing I'll annoy someone by suggesting that Karen Carpenter is there somewhere singing, Sing.  Oh, and don't forget Mama Cass singing, Make Your Own Kind of Music. 

Oh what a joyous site and sound there must be tonight. 

I wasn't alive when the first three died, but I remember being in Northern Michigan at a friend's house the day Elvis died. I remember Mom crying when Cass Elliott died after choking on a ham sandwich.   I was devastated when John was shot and Derek Kubacki in Atwater, CA called to tell me the news.  And me and a friend, Jon Dahlander, who I will see in San Francisco tomorrow night, were obviously saddened when George died.  Jon said to me, "And then there were two."  

Today my source of information was Twitter at 4:04 p.m.  CST. 

Who else would you add to the mix

SUGGESTED ADDITIONS: Selena, Hank Williams, Stevie Ray, Rick Wright from the Pink Floyd could pick up keyboards, and Old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra. 

Additional Updates:  Freddie Mercury on lead vocals leading We will, we will ROCK YOU!

It also has been suggested to add Cozy Powell on drums, but we also would have to add Jimmy Hendrix, and not to mention Keith Moon from The Who on drums.  And how could I forget John Entwistle from The Who as well.  It must be SO rocking up in Heaven right now. 

And not to forget my supposed "voice of my generation," Kurt Kobain.

The song, 'Bomb Iran' isn't funny like it used to be...

I remember listening to "Bomb Iran," the cover parody of the Beach Boy's Barbara Ann when we lived in Atwater, CA while Dad was stationed at Castle AFB training others to be certified to fly B-52s in the late 1970s as the Iran Hostage Crisis brewed. 

I was 13 or 14 at the time.  There was no Internet. There really wasn't a lot on cable at that time either, so we were treated to nightly views of angry Iranian people burning American flags, chanting "Death to America!" and we had Jimmy Carter in the White House, powerless to do anything about our American brethren held hostage until the day President Ronald Reagan took office. 

Bomb Iran was a funny song then, and Y94 FM in Fresno played it all the time.  People would talk about it.  My brothers and I knew all the words, too.  We sung it as a rallying cry and even understood the value in Yellow Ribbons that were a plentiful reminder to all Americans that we had U.S. citizens being held against their will. 

In the back of my mind this week, as thousands have risked their own lives, and a handful of Iranian citizens, some of them who were not even born when I was listening to Bomb Iran, were videotaped dying in the streets of Tehran at the use of force by their own government, the chorus of that song became less funny.  Because with each viewing of a new video, each reminder of Neda's eye's rolling hauntingly toward the camera as she lie dying, I began to more and more associate what was happening over there with real people.  People who were to the point of where they'd take up rocks and sticks against their national Goliath and risk everything because they believed they'd been disenfranchised, suddenly became real and lifelike to me.

Yes, the regime of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad remains a threat to American national security through his continued push for nuclear weaponry, through his relationships with Russia and Hugo Chavez in Venezuela.  But because of YouTube and Twitter, we now see the face of our "enemy," and in many ways, it could look like our own. 

Think about what we've seen since mid-June.  We've seen people angry at their government.  We've seen them angered to the point that they don't feel like their votes were counted in an election.  How many times has that happened here?  Many of them allegedly went out and were encouraged by Mir Hussein Moussavi to protest peacefully.  And to what little we know, in large part they were and did, armed initially with green wrist bands and cell phones. 

So is our solution to what Ahmadinejad is doing with his government to send a few B-52s from Barksdale AFB in Shreveport, LA, the tiny island of Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean or Anderson AFB in Guam on a low-level sortie over the Iranian country side, open the doors without Major Kong trying to fix the circuitry, and deliver a perfect strike?  

Major Garrett from Fox News this week was seen as a hero of sorts for standing up to our own President Obama and asking him, "What took so long?" to say something about what's happening in Iran other than soft comments.  Yes, the president should have been sterner sooner.  He should have used the American presidents' bully pulpit to rally support for the citizens of Iran.  (He should NOT have a hot dog picnic at the White House with Iranian ambassadors...)  But what else could we do?

I think you'd be hard pressed to find any of these Iranian people who are risking their lives to protest their government standing out on the street also saying, "Please, America, come into my country and save me from my government."  I don't think this is happening. 

Have their been human rights violations on the part of the Iranian military?  It certainly appears to be so.  Do you believe the Iranian government's intimation that a BBC journalist hired some thugs to shoot Neda on Saturday so he'd have some good video? 

What we have seen over the Internet the past few weeks are images that the world is smaller now than it was in mid-June.  American citizens probably feel closer now to the man-on-the-street in Iran than we probably ever have.  We know they're mad about their government.  We know their families are hurting and in danger of being confused and accused of protesting.  We know that people are in hiding.  I know of a mother and daughter from here in the Dallas area who have been over there to visit a grandmother and it's been quite hard to find them. 

What happens now?  After thinking about what we've seen, people fighting internally in their nation for what they believe in, would it be right at this point to even joke about Bombing Iran?  Seriously?

 

How I wish I was back in Yosemite